It has been just over two years since I was given my diagnosis. It is true when they say it tends to get worse before it gets better, and in particular for me I feel as though I have made good progress with my state of mind.
Whilst therapy sessions did not originally help, I feel I have taken a more natural way of finding a way to cope with my mental illness by improving diet, breathing exercises and going for regular walks. I am on regular medication which has made a huge difference, as I am now able to go out and about with friends and family, as well as by myself. I have even been in the frame of mind to try and go back into work, which is a huge step for me.
I always felt the friendships I made online had been helpful, as not only had I met people who had been through a similar ordeal to myself and were willing to be a shoulder to cry on or simply there to listen, but also I met some friends for life who improved my social life. I will be forever grateful to those (they know who they are)!
On the other hand, progress is being made but I have come to accept that my anxiety is something that I will never recover from fully and I have to learn to cope with for my entire life. A fast-paced, self-entitled, pressured modern way of living is always going to be battle I face, as well as one particular aspect: social media.
Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc are part and parcel of the 21st Century and, as many know, I love using them as much as anyone. Being free to express one's self without judgement and to cheer up others as well as putting a smile on my own face should be simple, however as I find as my social media presence gets bigger, it is nearby impossible to avoid criticism or insults.
As an anxiety sufferer, real life battles are difficult enough as it is but to have to contend with judgement from people who do not know you is even harder to take.
Today I bought myself a journal, where I can write down my deepest thoughts (and maybe have a little cry over the hardest things I encounter) but as I feel on a path to improvement, I do not want to think of the setbacks and will focus on everything and everyone good that has made my life better over the last two years. They are what matters most importantly.
Friday, 31 March 2017
Sunday, 5 March 2017
Feminism and Football
Emma Watson's most recent cover story for Vanity Fair has caused quite a stir in that she posed almost topless in one of the photographs. As a feminist and the face of the HeForShe campaign, many seem to be disgusted by this because it is a "sexualised" image. So the 'Harry Potter' and 'Beauty and the Beast' actress and activist is being scrutinised for a photo showing a part of her body "sexualised" by media and society. Women are put under the microscope for everything they do it seems.
What does this have to do with following football, you may ask? Well, it's a pretty simple crossover.
I have supported West Bromwich Albion for practically my whole life, followed properly since the age of 14 and attended games regularly since the 2013/14 season, having been to games sporadically since I was 7.
Family members, friends and work colleagues have often said to me, "why do you go to watch that rubbish? It's a man's game!" Yes, way back when, men made up the majority of the attendance at grounds but women have still been in the crowd for many years. I've often heard stories about ladies who were lucky enough to see Albion lift the FA Cup in 1954 (how I wish that feat could be repeated soon)! Whether you're male or female, if you enjoy something, why should it be judged by others just because they don't understand?
Being an active Twitter user who tweets a lot about football, it has had its difficulties as a minority of "trolls" and "keyboard warriors" cannot seem to grasp the idea that a girl may actually have an interest in the sport and on occasion being more knowledgeable than them. This has led to verbal abuse and derogatory comments, which is proof that although we may be in the 21st Century, there is still a long way to go before the game, or more so its fans, have adapted to a more equal society.
Raise your hands, ladies, if you've ever had someone say to you: "I bet you only go to games because you think (insert name here) is fit." Of course. I pay £30 plus £25 travel because I want to see James Morrison's face. There's more more to smile about if he scores a 30 yard screamer, I tell you!!
Last season when travelling home from a rainy Manchester, myself and three female friends sat opposite a group of Man City fans, whom we chatted to for the majority of the journey. One of the men told us how refreshing it was to see a group of girls following their team around the country like we do, and that he's never seen anything like it before. Is that really the case? I have to admit I don't think I've seen girls supporting other clubs doing what we do. It would be nice to see it more often!
I am that girl who likes dresses and makeup, but also likes football. No, I do not wear a skirt to matches "to get attention" nor do I wear makeup "to impress the lads". I do it because I am comfortable being myself and being free to make my own choices. Going back to the original point, Emma Watson campaigns for men and women to have equal rights, whether on the bigger scale of equal pay or if it's just how we want to express ourselves. It is so inspiring that she felt confident to pose for the "controversial" photoshoot, in the same way that women should be able to enjoy and share their views on something they have a passion for.
What does this have to do with following football, you may ask? Well, it's a pretty simple crossover.
I have supported West Bromwich Albion for practically my whole life, followed properly since the age of 14 and attended games regularly since the 2013/14 season, having been to games sporadically since I was 7.
Family members, friends and work colleagues have often said to me, "why do you go to watch that rubbish? It's a man's game!" Yes, way back when, men made up the majority of the attendance at grounds but women have still been in the crowd for many years. I've often heard stories about ladies who were lucky enough to see Albion lift the FA Cup in 1954 (how I wish that feat could be repeated soon)! Whether you're male or female, if you enjoy something, why should it be judged by others just because they don't understand?
Being an active Twitter user who tweets a lot about football, it has had its difficulties as a minority of "trolls" and "keyboard warriors" cannot seem to grasp the idea that a girl may actually have an interest in the sport and on occasion being more knowledgeable than them. This has led to verbal abuse and derogatory comments, which is proof that although we may be in the 21st Century, there is still a long way to go before the game, or more so its fans, have adapted to a more equal society.
Raise your hands, ladies, if you've ever had someone say to you: "I bet you only go to games because you think (insert name here) is fit." Of course. I pay £30 plus £25 travel because I want to see James Morrison's face. There's more more to smile about if he scores a 30 yard screamer, I tell you!!
Last season when travelling home from a rainy Manchester, myself and three female friends sat opposite a group of Man City fans, whom we chatted to for the majority of the journey. One of the men told us how refreshing it was to see a group of girls following their team around the country like we do, and that he's never seen anything like it before. Is that really the case? I have to admit I don't think I've seen girls supporting other clubs doing what we do. It would be nice to see it more often!
I am that girl who likes dresses and makeup, but also likes football. No, I do not wear a skirt to matches "to get attention" nor do I wear makeup "to impress the lads". I do it because I am comfortable being myself and being free to make my own choices. Going back to the original point, Emma Watson campaigns for men and women to have equal rights, whether on the bigger scale of equal pay or if it's just how we want to express ourselves. It is so inspiring that she felt confident to pose for the "controversial" photoshoot, in the same way that women should be able to enjoy and share their views on something they have a passion for.
Tuesday, 28 February 2017
Away Support
Everything I am about to say is from my own personal experiences, so please don't think I'm being unfair or deliberately condescending!
As many of you know, the last three seasons I have been regularly attending away games have only missed one this campaign. You tend to get a feel of the usual group of supporters who go week in week out and it makes for a much nicer atmosphere when you tend to know most people around you.
The outcry that the club decided not to take the full allocation of tickets for next week's trip to Everton may be justified in that it has become possibly our biggest game of the season with a race for a European place on the cards (still, it feels funny as an Albion fan to think of Europe as a real possibility!!) when a 3000-strong following could be achieved, much like at West Ham a few weeks ago.
That said, had the London Stadium not been a new ground to visit, would we have sold as many tickets? Maybe not. This season, our average away attendance hasn't been anything to shout about and it isn't like there has been the demand for tickets. Granted, we have had a few lunchtime kick-offs (Chelsea and Tottenham) a Boxing Day fixture (Arsenal) and a game on New Years Eve (Southampton). Some of our other fixtures haven't sold out even when put on general sale (Sunderland, Bournemouth, etc).
It is often said that taking a full allocation helps improve the atmosphere massively and whilst I would love to agree with that sentiment, from my own experiences it hasn't always been the case. I can count on one hand the amount of away games I've been to in recent years where the atmosphere has been electric with a bumper following. Being around people who I recognise and feel comfortable around, as well as enjoying myself and singing loud and proud is what makes the day fun for me. Everton last season when we took around 900 is still one of my favourites (which, may I add, was also a 3pm kick off on a Saturday)!
Our last two FA Cup exits are prime examples of my hesitation in us taking a full allocation for the sake of it. It is obvious that when we are doing well there is the potential for more fans to "jump on the bandwagon", and whilst I feel extremely sorry for those who have genuinely missed out and wanted to go and support the team, sometimes it's worth noting that at least it will be less likely to attract the sorts who caused trouble in those cup games.
Personally I hadn't seen that many supporters had missed out on tickets, but instead those who had already got tickets were confused by the allocation. If so many had in fact missed out it should be noted by the club.
Don't think that I am opposing taking a large away following, as there is no doubt the team love to see huge support when it is needed, but I'm sure whether it would have been a couple hundred or a couple thousand fans we'll do our best to outsing the home crowd.
Just to reiterate, if you don't agree with my thoughts it's fine. They are exactly that: my thoughts.
As many of you know, the last three seasons I have been regularly attending away games have only missed one this campaign. You tend to get a feel of the usual group of supporters who go week in week out and it makes for a much nicer atmosphere when you tend to know most people around you.
The outcry that the club decided not to take the full allocation of tickets for next week's trip to Everton may be justified in that it has become possibly our biggest game of the season with a race for a European place on the cards (still, it feels funny as an Albion fan to think of Europe as a real possibility!!) when a 3000-strong following could be achieved, much like at West Ham a few weeks ago.
That said, had the London Stadium not been a new ground to visit, would we have sold as many tickets? Maybe not. This season, our average away attendance hasn't been anything to shout about and it isn't like there has been the demand for tickets. Granted, we have had a few lunchtime kick-offs (Chelsea and Tottenham) a Boxing Day fixture (Arsenal) and a game on New Years Eve (Southampton). Some of our other fixtures haven't sold out even when put on general sale (Sunderland, Bournemouth, etc).
It is often said that taking a full allocation helps improve the atmosphere massively and whilst I would love to agree with that sentiment, from my own experiences it hasn't always been the case. I can count on one hand the amount of away games I've been to in recent years where the atmosphere has been electric with a bumper following. Being around people who I recognise and feel comfortable around, as well as enjoying myself and singing loud and proud is what makes the day fun for me. Everton last season when we took around 900 is still one of my favourites (which, may I add, was also a 3pm kick off on a Saturday)!
Our last two FA Cup exits are prime examples of my hesitation in us taking a full allocation for the sake of it. It is obvious that when we are doing well there is the potential for more fans to "jump on the bandwagon", and whilst I feel extremely sorry for those who have genuinely missed out and wanted to go and support the team, sometimes it's worth noting that at least it will be less likely to attract the sorts who caused trouble in those cup games.
Personally I hadn't seen that many supporters had missed out on tickets, but instead those who had already got tickets were confused by the allocation. If so many had in fact missed out it should be noted by the club.
Don't think that I am opposing taking a large away following, as there is no doubt the team love to see huge support when it is needed, but I'm sure whether it would have been a couple hundred or a couple thousand fans we'll do our best to outsing the home crowd.
Just to reiterate, if you don't agree with my thoughts it's fine. They are exactly that: my thoughts.
West Bromwich Albion vs AFC Bournemouth
I have been waiting all season to heap praise on Craig Dawson properly, and despite him leaving the pitch prematurely due to injury, he was in contention for man of the match.
Dawson is often considered one of those "Marmite players", where fans either love him or hate him. A select group of supporters have often said that he neither defends well nor gets forward as a modern full back should. I have always disagreed with these sentiments as he has become one of Tony Pulis' most trusted figures since our Head Coach arrived at Albion. Before his departure due to a collision with Bournemouth's Tyrone Mings, Dawson was arguably the best player on the pitch. His fantastic strike in the first half was unexpected and sublime.
Albion and the Premier League's oldest outfield player, Gareth McAuley, poked home the winning goal, bringing his total to seven goals this season and becoming the league's top scoring defender and Albion's joint-top goalscorer. Not bad for a 37 year old!
Whilst the game was effectively decided in the first half, Albion made hard work of the second. Due to the inability to keep possession as we had been earlier in the match Bournemouth were able to get more into the game and threaten. In injury time they would have equalised, if not for the heroics of player of the season contender Ben Foster. Our goalkeeper once again proving his saves are just as vital in securing points as goals are.
Dawson is often considered one of those "Marmite players", where fans either love him or hate him. A select group of supporters have often said that he neither defends well nor gets forward as a modern full back should. I have always disagreed with these sentiments as he has become one of Tony Pulis' most trusted figures since our Head Coach arrived at Albion. Before his departure due to a collision with Bournemouth's Tyrone Mings, Dawson was arguably the best player on the pitch. His fantastic strike in the first half was unexpected and sublime.
Albion and the Premier League's oldest outfield player, Gareth McAuley, poked home the winning goal, bringing his total to seven goals this season and becoming the league's top scoring defender and Albion's joint-top goalscorer. Not bad for a 37 year old!
Whilst the game was effectively decided in the first half, Albion made hard work of the second. Due to the inability to keep possession as we had been earlier in the match Bournemouth were able to get more into the game and threaten. In injury time they would have equalised, if not for the heroics of player of the season contender Ben Foster. Our goalkeeper once again proving his saves are just as vital in securing points as goals are.
Tuesday, 14 February 2017
West Ham United vs West Bromwich Albion
"I love Allan Nyom!"
As does every Albion fan after his string of fantastic displays since arriving from Watford in August. At the London Stadium he possibly gave his best performance to date in the blue and white stripes. Both defensively and particularly going forward, Nyom worked his magic and helped Albion grind out a well-deserved point against West Ham.
Albion started off brilliantly, as they had done in the last two games scoring in the sixth minute. Instead of a third in three games for James Morrison on his 300th Baggies appearance it was Nacer Chadli who found the back of the net, making it three in two against the Hammers for the Belgian!
After a pretty solid first half, West Ham fought back with Albion on the backfoot for the most part. It could be argued that Tony Pulis was simply happy to hold on to a 1-0 with taking off the attacking Chadli, Morrison and Matt Phillips for Jonny Evans, Hal Robson-Kanu and Claudio Yacob, and the negative substitutions could have cost us dearly.
On 86 minutes West Ham had taken the lead to break Baggies hearts. Almost.
In injury time the 3000-strong away support were resigned to defeat until in the 94th minute, a player in blue and white stripes headed a Chris Brunt (who else?) corner home. At the time of writing I'm still unsure of whether it was Evans or Gareth McAuley, however it is fair to say it was a goal made in Northern Ireland! Cue "limbs"!
As does every Albion fan after his string of fantastic displays since arriving from Watford in August. At the London Stadium he possibly gave his best performance to date in the blue and white stripes. Both defensively and particularly going forward, Nyom worked his magic and helped Albion grind out a well-deserved point against West Ham.
Albion started off brilliantly, as they had done in the last two games scoring in the sixth minute. Instead of a third in three games for James Morrison on his 300th Baggies appearance it was Nacer Chadli who found the back of the net, making it three in two against the Hammers for the Belgian!
After a pretty solid first half, West Ham fought back with Albion on the backfoot for the most part. It could be argued that Tony Pulis was simply happy to hold on to a 1-0 with taking off the attacking Chadli, Morrison and Matt Phillips for Jonny Evans, Hal Robson-Kanu and Claudio Yacob, and the negative substitutions could have cost us dearly.
On 86 minutes West Ham had taken the lead to break Baggies hearts. Almost.
In injury time the 3000-strong away support were resigned to defeat until in the 94th minute, a player in blue and white stripes headed a Chris Brunt (who else?) corner home. At the time of writing I'm still unsure of whether it was Evans or Gareth McAuley, however it is fair to say it was a goal made in Northern Ireland! Cue "limbs"!
Thursday, 9 February 2017
Two Current Heroes
When He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (again, I don't mean Voldemort) returned to the Hawthorns on Saturday of course the eyes of the crowd, and actually the footballing world, was inevitably drawn to him. It is fitting, however, that the game was to be decided by one of Albion's most loyal and long-standing servants in James Morrison.
Whilst He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could not wait to leave West Brom, Morrison has been a constant and consistent figure in our rise to prominence in the Premier League and is currently in what could be considered in the form of his life. This Saturday coming, if he is selected, he will join a 45-strong club known as the "300 club". The last player to be inducted into this exclusive group was a player who joined merely a week after Morrison: Chris Brunt.
Brunt has been just as vital, if not even more so, as Morrison in establishing Albion in the top flight and making the current squad arguably the best we've had in over 30 years. Today Brunt signed a well-deserved new contract to keep him with us over the ten year mark and in the modern game this is a fantastic achievement for not only one but two players.
In the summer both Morrison and Brunt will be due for a testimonial. The former is about to surpass our record Premier League goalscorer Peter Odemwingie, whilst Brunt has been involved in the most goals (scored or assisted) than any other Baggies player in the same league. A magnificent feat.
Not long ago, Brunt in particular was hounded as the scapegoat whenever anything went wrong on the pitch and sometimes off the pitch. Those days are well and truly behind us now, although it is interesting to know where exactly those "boo boys" have disappeared to. Never one to hide or shy away from criticism, taking responsibility for his actions and handling losing his captaincy with dignity are part of what makes Brunt a very special player and person, not even taking his talent into consideration.
I seemed to cause quite a stir when I suggested that these two players were the closest our generation would be able to call legends. I should have clarified that they are legends to me. I've said in the past that it was the Tony Mowbray era that really gave me the Albion bug, and it was in fact James Morrison and Chris Brunt who played a huge part in that. It has been a privilege to watch them don the blue and white stripes with pride for the past ten years and for over 600 combined games. Their hard work, passion and loyalty is rare in this day and age, and every Albion fan should appreciate them whilst we can.
Tuesday, 7 February 2017
West Bromwich Albion vs Stoke City
It would be quite predictable to talk about a certain former striker of ours but finally it seems we can put a long and sorry saga to bed. Albion got the last laugh.
It was 8th vs 9th, a Midlands derby of sorts and plenty was at stake at a vital stage of the season. A win for the Baggies would have been an opportunity to pull away comfortably from the chasing pack. In an entertaining fashion, the job was done.
Every man in blue and white stripes did a fantastic job, particularly first half when the atmosphere could have been considered electric. Every time Albion went forward the crowd roared the team on in optimism and the early goal from James Morrison, his second in a week, was taken well with the roof coming off the Hawthorns!
Craig Dawson has slotted in at his much-preferred position of centre back in the last few games whilst Jonny Evans recovers from injury; doing an impressive job and at one point showing off some fancy footwork and dribbling to bemuse He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (not Voldemort).
On his first start Jake Livermore ran the show. He was everywhere, linking up well in the midfield and chipping in both defensively and going forward. He could have capped off a fine performance with a goal in the dying minutes if he'd taken a shot earlier.
How does the chant go? "We always beat West Brom"? Albion are unbeaten in five of our last six meetings against the Potters...
It was 8th vs 9th, a Midlands derby of sorts and plenty was at stake at a vital stage of the season. A win for the Baggies would have been an opportunity to pull away comfortably from the chasing pack. In an entertaining fashion, the job was done.
Every man in blue and white stripes did a fantastic job, particularly first half when the atmosphere could have been considered electric. Every time Albion went forward the crowd roared the team on in optimism and the early goal from James Morrison, his second in a week, was taken well with the roof coming off the Hawthorns!
Craig Dawson has slotted in at his much-preferred position of centre back in the last few games whilst Jonny Evans recovers from injury; doing an impressive job and at one point showing off some fancy footwork and dribbling to bemuse He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (not Voldemort).
On his first start Jake Livermore ran the show. He was everywhere, linking up well in the midfield and chipping in both defensively and going forward. He could have capped off a fine performance with a goal in the dying minutes if he'd taken a shot earlier.
How does the chant go? "We always beat West Brom"? Albion are unbeaten in five of our last six meetings against the Potters...
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