Friday, 31 March 2017

Anxiety Update

It has been just over two years since I was given my diagnosis. It is true when they say it tends to get worse before it gets better, and in particular for me I feel as though I have made good progress with my state of mind.

Whilst therapy sessions did not originally help, I feel I have taken a more natural way of finding a way to cope with my mental illness by improving diet, breathing exercises and going for regular walks. I am on regular medication which has made a huge difference, as I am now able to go out and about with friends and family, as well as by myself. I have even been in the frame of mind to try and go back into work, which is a huge step for me.

I always felt the friendships I made online had been helpful, as not only had I met people who had been through a similar ordeal to myself and were willing to be a shoulder to cry on or simply there to listen, but also I met some friends for life who improved my social life. I will be forever grateful to those (they know who they are)!

On the other hand, progress is being made but I have come to accept that my anxiety is something that I will never recover from fully and I have to learn to cope with for my entire life. A fast-paced, self-entitled, pressured modern way of living is always going to be battle I face, as well as one particular aspect: social media.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc are part and parcel of the 21st Century and, as many know, I love using them as much as anyone. Being free to express one's self without judgement and to cheer up others as well as putting a smile on my own face should be simple, however as I find as my social media presence gets bigger, it is nearby impossible to avoid criticism or insults.

As an anxiety sufferer, real life battles are difficult enough as it is but to have to contend with judgement from people who do not know you is even harder to take.

Today I bought myself a journal, where I can write down my deepest thoughts (and maybe have a little cry over the hardest things I encounter) but as I feel on a path to improvement, I do not want to think of the setbacks and will focus on everything and everyone good that has made my life better over the last two years. They are what matters most importantly.


Sunday, 5 March 2017

Feminism and Football

Emma Watson's most recent cover story for Vanity Fair has caused quite a stir in that she posed almost topless in one of the photographs. As a feminist and the face of the HeForShe campaign, many seem to be disgusted by this because it is a "sexualised" image. So the 'Harry Potter' and 'Beauty and the Beast' actress and activist is being scrutinised for a photo showing a part of her body "sexualised" by media and society. Women are put under the microscope for everything they do it seems.

What does this have to do with following football, you may ask? Well, it's a pretty simple crossover.

I have supported West Bromwich Albion for practically my whole life, followed properly since the age of 14 and attended games regularly since the 2013/14 season, having been to games sporadically since I was 7.

Family members, friends and work colleagues have often said to me, "why do you go to watch that rubbish? It's a man's game!" Yes, way back when, men made up the majority of the attendance at grounds but women have still been in the crowd for many years. I've often heard stories about ladies who were lucky enough to see Albion lift the FA Cup in 1954 (how I wish that feat could be repeated soon)! Whether you're male or female, if you enjoy something, why should it be judged by others just because they don't understand?

Being an active Twitter user who tweets a lot about football, it has had its difficulties as a minority of "trolls" and "keyboard warriors" cannot seem to grasp the idea that a girl may actually have an interest in the sport and on occasion being more knowledgeable than them. This has led to verbal abuse and derogatory comments, which is proof that although we may be in the 21st Century, there is still a long way to go before the game, or more so its fans, have adapted to a more equal society.

Raise your hands, ladies, if you've ever had someone say to you: "I bet you only go to games because you think (insert name here) is fit." Of course. I pay £30 plus £25 travel because I want to see James Morrison's face. There's more more to smile about if he scores a 30 yard screamer, I tell you!!

Last season when travelling home from a rainy Manchester, myself and three female friends sat opposite a group of Man City fans, whom we chatted to for the majority of the journey. One of the men told us how refreshing it was to see a group of girls following their team around the country like we do, and that he's never seen anything like it before. Is that really the case? I have to admit I don't think I've seen girls supporting other clubs doing what we do. It would be nice to see it more often!

I am that girl who likes dresses and makeup, but also likes football. No, I do not wear a skirt to matches "to get attention" nor do I wear makeup "to impress the lads". I do it because I am comfortable being myself and being free to make my own choices. Going back to the original point, Emma Watson campaigns for men and women to have equal rights, whether on the bigger scale of equal pay or if it's just how we want to express ourselves. It is so inspiring that she felt confident to pose for the "controversial" photoshoot, in the same way that women should be able to enjoy and share their views on something they have a passion for.